Dear Five Faces: My brother Joe is in his forties and works as a short order cook, which is just his “job.” His passion is music and playing guitar. When we were younger, Joe wanted to play in a rock band, but that never happened. I’m pretty sure he’s a Water/Earth. About three months ago, Joe met a woman who runs a nursing home. Carol is close to his age, kind and caring, but also very organized. I think she’s a Metal/Earth. Since Joe started dating Carol, he has changed in a very good way. He’s thinking about going back to college to train for a job in the technical end of renewable energy. Our whole family is thrilled, and I’m wondering if there is anything we can do to help Joe in his relationship with Carol. She is so good for him. Signed: Caring Sister
Dear Caring Sister: That’s wonderful news about Joe. And while I’m sure your whole family is happy that he’s in a good relationship, it seems they are also happy that he’s looking into a different career. You don’t mention what element you are, but I’m pretty sure you have some Earth in there or you wouldn’t be asking how to help Joe in his relationship. Earths so want the people they care about to be happy. And if Earths get out of balance, they can move into a place where they turn other people into “projects” to help them be better, happier, whatever. They can also find that they need to be needed. You and your family might want to check in on your Earth energies every now and then to make sure you stay balanced around Joe so he can run his own life.
That said, it’s clear that Carol’s Metal is probably the energy behind Joe getting structured enough to go back to school, which as long as he’s happy, is a good thing. If you look at the energies between Joe and Carol, they are most likely meeting in their secondary elements, which is Earth. That will tend to make their relationship a deep and lasting one. In truth, Joe may not need any help from anyone regarding his relationship with Carol; the Earth energies are doing it for both of them! Their connection has the potential to be a happy and lasting one as long as they don’t get too Earthy with each other and become co-dependent.
In addition to their secondary elements, of course, Joe and Carol will bring their primary Water (Joe) and Metal (Carol) to the mix. And really, it can be a pretty good picture. Joe’s Earth will feed Carol’s Metal, which will help both of them with necessary structure. And his Water will give purpose to Carol’s Metal (Metal feeds Water) and offer the challenging opportunity of trying to structure his Water. In addition to her Metal feeding his Water, Carol’s Earth sits on the Control Cycle of Joe’s Water, which will help him keep that in check.
In summary, the biggest thing that could go wrong for Carol and Joe is if Joe gets too Watery and less Earthy. Their Earths are where they meet and what hold them together. Too much of Joe’s Water will take away from this connection and emphasize the Water tendency of being a loner. Also, too much Water rusts Metal, which could cause Carol to decide to leave. So the major threat to their relationship at an elemental level is too much Water from Joe.
However, I doubt that will happen. Carol sounds like the perfect person for Joe. Her Metal feeds Joe’s Watery creative expressions and gives him structure. Her Earth bonds with Joe’s Earth for connection, but it also controls his Water and keeps it from getting too deep. Truthfully, they could have a long and very happy relationship as long as Carol’s Earth keeps Joe’s Water in check. If not, her Metal could rust in muddy water. Good luck to Joe and Carol!