Dear Vicki: My sister Cate used to be a pretty trusting, optimistic person. Growing up, she always looked on the bright side of things and tended to see the good in life. She was, and still is, a bit of a loner, too. It was always clear she preferred reading or weaving over loud parties, and that hasn’t changed. Cate also has a soft spot for cats and is always taking in strays. She has a home studio as a decorator and I think they keep her company. I love my sister but have noticed over the years that she seems more likely to assume the worst in a given situation, rather than the best. She doesn’t trust anyone or anything anymore (except her six cats) and appears really frightened about what’s going on in the world these days. Is there any way I can help her return to some version of her trusting, optimistic self? Signed, Worried Sister
Dear Worried Sister: It’s understandable that you want to help Cate return to a happier state of being and there are definite ways you can do that. But first I want to suggest that, if you think it’s warranted, you encourage Cate to seek professional help. You will know if that’s necessary, so enough said, but it’s important to remember.
For now, let’s start by taking a look at Cate’s likely elemental personality. From your description, it’s pretty clear that Cate is a primary Water personality. Water people definitely tend to be loners with a keen awareness of their inner resources. This means that, when balanced, they usually trust that they can handle whatever life brings. Water people also view life through the filter of depth, so deep, profound issues (like world peace) matter a lot to them.
The fact that Cate has six cats and they are her only connections right now suggests that her secondary elemental personality is Earth. It is very likely that having six cats to take care of may have caused her to build her Earth energy to such a degree that it is negatively affecting the Water part of her personality. In the Five Elements model, Water and Earth relate on the Controlling Cycle, with Earth controlling Water. If the Earth part of her personality is over-energized from cat duty, it could have decreased the Water part of her personality to the point that she has lost the optimism and trust that comes with a balance Water personality.
The good news is that Water is the source of beginnings and creativity. It is the void out of which new ideas are born, the soil in which dreams germinate, the caldron of pure potentiality. That means envisioning a new start will be easier and more natural for Cate than any of the other elemental personalities. Imagination is one of Water’s greatest gifts, too, and will be another way of helping her, so we’ll come back to it later.
There are many easy ways for Cate to get her Water energy building and flowing again. These include:
- Surround herself with blue (the color that builds Water). That means wear blue clothes, paint her rooms blue, bring in blue flowers, anything that puts blue around her.
- Buy a small tabletop fountain and run it all the time. Flowing water in the fountain will help her own Water flow.
- Purchase a necklace of lapis lazuli beads (or a single bead on a chain) and wear it as often as possible, even 24/7 for a while. The vibration of lapis builds Water.
- Drink Lemon Balm tea. It helps balance an over-Earth condition.
- Finally, the sound “whoooooo” (like an owl) can balance Water energy. Have Cate exhale softly making the sound as slowly as she can, as often as she can.
You also might suggest to Cate that every time she feeds her cats, she do something that makes her happy, as well. Hopefully, this will help her make engaging in Watery activities a major priority. Whether that’s painting or weaving – or anything else creative she might enjoy – it just needs to be something that helps her build her Water energy. And obviously, hanging out around water (baths, pools, lakes, oceans, etc.) will be great for her, too. You also might want to encourage Cate to avoid yellow or orange colors in her environment. No yellow walls, no orange clothes, etc. These colors build Earth energy and she doesn’t want more Earth energy right now.
Finally, let’s return to the gift of Water: imagination. When working with out-of-balance Water people, it’s important to remember that their deepest need is connection to a Cause or a Truth. Help Cate imagine or rediscover a purpose to her life and a way to connect to it. Whether it means volunteering for a favorite organization or candidate, writing a book, painting a picture, or something else entirely, primary Water personalities need to express this aspect of themselves.
An added benefit of helping Cate address this issue now is that seasonally, we are in Water time here in the northern hemisphere. This means that all of us have a little more Water energy than usual manifesting in our personalities right now. It also means that if Cate is willing to put some effort into these options now, it will be easier for her to get the Water part of her personality flowing again sooner rather than later. It may start as a little brook, but if she keeps with it, her Water will grow and flow her back her more trusting, optimistic self. Blessings to you and Cate!