Five Element Fixes: Feeling Antisocial

Dear Readers: Welcome to a new feature of the Ask Vicki blog! Over the years, in addition to questions regarding relationships, as a naturopathic physician I’ve been asked about a variety of other issues. Questions regarding physical concerns, certainly, but also emotional, mental, and even spiritual issues, as well. And in truth, they are all relationships questions because they address how we relate to ourselves and our environment.

The answers to these questions are usually short and sweet, but also rational and logical. And of course, they are grounded in the Five Elements model! The information seems more important now than ever before, so I’d like to share some of these with you here. 

Question: During the pandemic, many of my friends are socializing day and night on Zoom, and sometimes even in person, but I just don’t feel like it, even though I know it would be good for me. How can I convince myself to be more social?

Answer:  When you aren’t feeling like it, but want to be social, rub lavender or rosemary essential oil behind your ears.

Why: This is a difficult time for everyone. In so many ways, “normal” life just isn’t normal anymore. Being asked to manage this level of change will absolutely throw our energies out of balanced. 

The energy that governs the desire to connect with people is found in the Fire element. Perfectly balanced Fire energy will always want to engage with other people, ideally in a fun and outgoing way. Too little Fire energy will lessen this desire to engage.

But the best fix isn’t necessarily to build Fire energy. That’s because too much Fire energy creates panic, and during a pandemic, panic around contagion will also cause people to avoid social situations.

The ideal fix for socialization issues is to balance the Fire energy in our personalities, and the scent of both lavender and rosemary essential oils does just that. Wearing either oil on your skin is an easy to way to experience this fix. But you can also put the oil in a room diffuser or place some on a tissue and inhale it throughout the day. 

And of course, it goes without saying that if you do not feel safe socializing in person, please do not. But with a little help from lavender or rosemary essential oil, you might find that you actually enjoy socializing online or in other safe ways.

Stay safe and well,


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