New Year’s Resolutions, Fresh Starts, and Ceremony

Dear Vicki: I love New Year’s resolutions! Committing to what I want to accomplish next year makes me happy. Unfortunately, my husband hates the idea. Every year it’s impossible to get him excited about sharing thoughts for the coming year. And when he does finally agree, it’s like the Grinch has moved in. I’m dreading January because I know it will just be one more fight about resolutions. Of course, I could make them alone, but we’ve been together a long time and so much of what happens in my life involves him. How do I get him excited about New Year’s resolutions? Signed: Resolutions for Me

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Dear Resolutions: This is an issue many of us have faced and I believe it can be addressed rather easily with assistance from the Five Elements. Knowing your primary elemental personality and that of your husband will help you approach the subject in a way that might make the idea of resolutions more palatable to him.

The fact that you enjoy coming up with resolutions for the New Year suggests that you are probably a primary Wood personality. The arena of focus for Wood people is the future, and nothing is more future-oriented than creating resolutions for the coming year. In truth, resolutions are really just glorified plans for change and Wood people excel at planning.

Because your husband hates resolutions (rather than just finding them boring, pointless, or silly), I suspect he is probably a primary Metal personality. The arena of focus for Metal people is the past; they excel at synthesizing events that occur over the course of a cycle, be that a month, a season, a lifetime, or longer. Metals are brilliant at looking backward and bringing wisdom forward. But it’s often difficult for them to project themselves into the future; they just don’t think that way, which is probably one reason your husband hates making resolutions.

The idea of making New Year’s resolutions is popular in our culture not because we’re a world of primary Wood personalities. Instead, I think the popularity of resolutions suggests that each elemental personality can and does connect with the idea of a fresh start. So, let’s take a closer look at how each elemental personality responds to the idea of New Year’s resolutions and then we’ll explore a way for you to approach the topic with your husband.

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