Dear Vicki: I’m the mom of two small children and having them home so much lately (like 24/7) has given me an opportunity to observe more closely the ways they act with other family members. I love being with my children – all I ever wanted was a home and a family – but my husband has lower tolerance to their loud movies or fighting, especially when he’s trying to work himself. He loses his temper pretty often and asks if this is the way it’s going to be. So, my question is are children’s elemental personalities already fixed in place when they are 4 years old (Mickey) and 7 years old (Jessica)? I’ve read a little on the Five Elements personalities and wonder if Mickey’s preference to play alone most of the time means he’ll be a Water personality when he grows up? And will having an Earth personality mother (which I’m pretty sure I am based on my reading) make Jessica more “Earthy?” She does love helping me cook. Thanks for any guidance you can give. Signed: Curious Mom
Dear Curious: It is a truism these days that being at home together a lot more certainly does highlight our personalities and how they interact. The short answer to your questions is that children are born with the wiring for their elemental personality already in place, so they can, and will, begin expressing that personality immediately. This means that Mickey is already the little primary Water person he appears to be. One way you see that is in his tendency to prefer playing alone. And if your daughter is a primary Earth personality, it will be because she’s wired that way, not because she has an Earth person for her mother.
But while that may be the short answer, to get the whole picture of how children relate to their elemental personalities as they grow, we need to discuss two important relationships that color the way your children express themselves over time: 1) How their primary elemental personality relates to the elemental personalities of each family member, and 2) How their primary elemental personality relates to the elemental stage of their development. We’ll start with this issue of developmental stage.