Husband’s Earth: Parched, Depleted, or Present?

(Dear Readers: This is the final “oldie but goodie” post from the first year of our blog. It addresses several key relationship dynamics between the elements and makes a good final summation in our review. Enjoy!)

Dear Vicki: I’m a Wood married to a wonderful guy, but I’m having a hard time nailing down his element. A well-known Five Elements lecturer told me that my husband was “parched Earth, all dried up and just not there.” That made sense to me because I don’t see him as overly nurturing; in fact, at times he seems rather sharp. He is thin and strong (even at 62), he’s been an engineer and is now a doctor, and often calls himself the machine (he keeps working on whatever has to get done). His weak system is his gut in a way that affects his ability to eat most foods, and he was raised in a military family. In general, he’s usually intense, but I do sometimes see a softness to him that is such a contradiction, especially when he makes me treats like my favorite tea and snacks or does the dishes. He helps the neighbors a lot and will not harm a living creature. Can he be a parched Earth, and what does that mean? Signed, Very Confused

Dear Very Confused: Calling your husband a parched Earth that is “dried up” and “just not there” implies that your husband doesn’t have enough Earth available to him to access on a regular basis. There are many reasons someone won’t manifest much of a particular element, but the most basic options are:

  1. The missing element could be their fifth element; the one they have the least of in their makeup.
  2. The element could be lacking for them, meaning they were born with it and something about their life made it impossible for them to express it safely.
  3. The element could be depleted, meaning that their overall energy system is deficient in that specific element. This could be because that element is: a) over-controlled by an element on the Controlling Cycle (for Earth, it would be Wood), b) underfed by the element in front of it on the Nurturing Cycle (in this case, Fire), c) used up by the element that follows it on the Nurturing Cycle (in this case, Metal), or d) overworked from trying to control an abundance of the element it controls on the Controlling Cycle (for Earth that would be Water).

The concept of “parched Earth” implies that the Earth is there but has been impacted in a way that makes it unable to manifest. This rules out Option 1 (that it’s his fifth element) and leaves us with Option 2 (Earth lacking) or Option 3 (Earth depleted).

Continue reading