Family Feud over Fourth of July

Dear Readers: This is a timely “oldie but goodie” from our files. Enjoy! 

Dear Vicki: The Fourth of July is coming up and it’s turning into a real challenge for our family. My sixteen-year-old daughter, Joni, wants to have a huge picnic, invite all of her friends, and shoot off fireworks after dark (we live where they are legal). Stella, my twelve-year-old, hates noise and crowds so wants a quiet family gathering or maybe even a night at the movies. Of course, Joni claims that would be boring. To make matters worse, Jake, my husband, thinks taking the whole family camping in the wilderness – along with a few close friends – would solve the problem. But I’m the one everyone looks to for organizing and cooking on a camping trip, and it doesn’t sound like fun to me. So, we are a family divided. Any suggestions? Signed, Fractured Family

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Dear Fractured Family: Holidays are never easy because everyone has expectations, and those expectations will always be colored by our elemental personalities. Different personalities will want to celebrate holidays in different ways, as you are clearly finding out. So, let’s take a look at how to resolve the issues and create the possibility of a happy July 4thcelebration for everyone.

Joni, who wants a big party with lots of people, excitement, and activity sounds like a primary Fire personality. Excitement and activity are the epitome of fun for Fire people. And fireworks? The name says it all. Plus, the Independence Day holiday occurs during summer, which is Fire’s season. This means Joni’s Fire personality is likely revved up even more by summer and she’s really ready to party.

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