Dear Vicki: I’m writing because I recently made a terrible mistake that has created quite a rupture in my family. I’m a Fire and have a terrible time keeping secrets. Last Christmas, after a great deal of spiked eggnog, my sister Lisa confided to me that she’d had an affair several years ago when she and her husband were having a rocky time. They have since put things back together and are expecting their first child this fall. Lisa never told him and was wondering if she should admit to it now and ask forgiveness so they could start their family on a clean slate. But now I’m the one who needs forgiveness! At a family gathering last month, I’d had a bit too much champagne and let it slip to our mother about the affair. Mum confronted Lisa and now they are both very upset. It’s been weeks and neither has forgiven me. Mum is an Earth and Lisa is a Water, although she’s a lot like Mum, so maybe she has a secondary Earth? What can I do to gain forgiveness from these two? And which element forgives the easiest? Signed: Big Mouth
Dear Big Mouth: Well, you’ve gotten yourself into quite a pickle, haven’t you? Yes, Fires have notoriously poor boundaries at times, but that’s little comfort when you have betrayed the trust of someone close to you. It’s especially bad to betray the trust of a Water because trust sits in Water. So, is there anything you can do to obtain forgiveness? Yes. But to help you out here, I’m going to answer your second question first: Which element forgives the easiest?
The short answer is that each of the Five Elements can forgive. But how easily they forgive will depend on what they’re being asked to forgive. Each element has different priorities and goals in life, so it will matter whether the forgiveness being asked for involves something that is really important to that element. The closer the infraction strikes to the core of the element’s identity, the harder it will be to receive easy forgiveness. Let’s take a look at what will be easy and hard for each element to forgive.