Resolutions, Fresh Starts, and Ceremony

Dear Vicki: I love New Year’s resolutions! Committing to what I want to accomplish next year makes me happy. Unfortunately, my husband hates the idea. Every year it’s impossible to get him excited about sharing thoughts for the coming year. And when he does finally agree, it’s like the Grinch is here to stay. I’m dreading January this year because I know it will just be one more fight about resolutions. Of course, I could make them alone, but we’ve been together a long time and so much of what happens in my life involves him. How do I get him excited about New Year’s resolutions? Signed: Resolutions for Me

Dear Resolutions: This is an issue many of us have faced and I believe that understanding your elemental personality (and your husband’s) will help you address it very comfortably. The fact that you enjoy coming up with resolutions for the New Year suggests that you are probably a Wood personality. The arena of focus for Wood people is the future, and there is nothing more future-oriented than creating resolutions for the coming year. In truth, resolutions are really just glorified plans for change and Wood people excel at planning.

The fact that your husband hates resolutions (rather than just finding them boring, pointless, or silly) suggests that he is probably a Metal personality. The arena of focus for Metal people is the past; they excel at synthesizing the events that occur over the course of a cycle, be that a month, a season, a lifetime, or longer. Metals are brilliant at looking backward and bringing wisdom forward. But it’s often difficult for them to project themselves into the future; they just don’t think that way, which is probably one reason your husband hates making resolutions.

The idea of making New Year’s resolutions is popular in our culture not because we’re a world of Wood personalities. Instead, I think the popularity of resolutions suggests that each elemental personality can and does have a connection to the idea of a fresh start. Let’s take a closer look at how each element might respond to the idea of New Year’s resolutions and then we’ll consider how you might encourage your husband to embrace them a bit more.

Resolutions, Ceremony, and the Five Elements

Dear Vicki: I love New Years resolutions! Committing to what I want to accomplish next year makes me happy. Unfortunately, my husband hates the idea! Every year it’s impossible to get him excited about sharing thoughts for the coming year. And when he does finally agree, it’s like the Grinch is here to stay. I’m dreading January this year because I know it will just be one more fight about resolutions. Of course, I could make them alone, but we’ve been together a long time and so much of what happens in my life involves him. How do I get him excited about New Year’s resolutions? Signed: Resolutions for Me

Dear Resolutions: You don’t mention what elements you and your husband are, but based on your letter, I can make an educated guess. Because you enjoy coming up with resolutions for the New Year, I suspect that you are most likely a Wood. The arena of focus for Wood is the future, and there is nothing more future-oriented than resolutions. Honestly, they’re really nothing more than glorified plans for change, and Woods are excellent planners.

The fact that your husband hates resolutions (rather than just finding them boring, pointless, or silly) suggests that he has a lot of Metal. The arena of focus for Metals is the past; they excel at synthesizing the events that occur over the course of a cycle, be that a month, a season, a lifetime, or longer. Metals are brilliant at looking backward and bringing wisdom forward. But it’s often difficult for them to project themselves into the future; they just don’t think that way.

Our culture definitely focuses on New Years resolutions. But the fact that so many people embrace the practice of making resolutions doesn’t suggest that we’re a world of Woods. Rather, I think it suggests that each element can and does have a connection to the idea of a fresh start. We just need to understand that connection. Let’s take a closer look at how each element might respond to the idea of New Years resolutions, and then we’ll consider how you might encourage your husband to embrace them.