Dear Vicki: I’m an Earth with a Metal secondary married to a Fire guy whose secondary is Earth. We have been married for 14 years, but have been struggling for the last few. Due to my husband’s head injuries, I’ve been the sole provider and caregiver for the last 10 years. My Earth tendencies for the caregiving and my Metal control and structure made this work for us in the beginning. But for several years now I’ve been burned out, which has led to health issues of my own. I’m struggling with anger and resentment towards my mate and frustration with my own health. I feel incredibility under appreciated because my husband fails to grasp the overwhelming stress I deal with and how this stress affects me. I’ve been working on making time for myself to regain my health, and it has worked; I am getting better. But I still have the anger and resentment. My husband tries, but he fails to understand all that is going on. How do I get over being so angry and resentful regarding my situation? Signed: Angry in Anaheim
Dear Angry: Bless you for all that you’re dealing with in your life. Caring for an incapacitated loved one is never easy. And the fact that it’s your partner, the person you would normally turn to for love and support, makes it doubly difficult. Our ability to do this kind of thing comes from our Earth. That’s where compassion and caring sit, and no doubt you have drawn on these feelings many times over the past several years. The fact that you are a primary Earth is very likely what has made the protracted caregiving possible for you.
From your letter it sounds like you’re currently in a place of excess Wood; anger and resentment are clear indications of too much Wood energy. And while you don’t mention what kind of health issues you have developed, a key aspect of our immune system sits in the Earth element. The fact that you have become ill yourself suggests that your Earth is probably depleted, which wouldn’t be surprising if you have an excess of Wood (Wood controls Earth). Therefore, as you have surmised, the first step is to address the excess Wood energy you have.